Friday, October 15, 2010

Full of events but uneventful times

Cancer....for maybe the first time in my life I felt ashamed of my sun sign. As a person, Cancerian can be tenacious so also is a malignant tumor.

I was at Rajiv Gandhi Cancer Institute & Research Centre, New Delhi for the Operation of my maternal grandmother on 7th Oct. It was a major surgery in which her bladder was to be removed. Looking around, everywhere I could see cancer patients suffering from all possible combinations of cancer as many or more than one has organs in the body.

Treatment is expensive, does not carry guaranteed results and is painful. God give strength to the relatives of cancer patients.

It felt bad that poor have no option but to die due to such ailments. Dad was telling me that he saw a woman crying her heart out in front of the medical store...maybe she did not have enough money to buy the medicines. I thanked God silently in my heart that he had given us enough to be able to afford this medical treatment.

In a way it felt good to reunite with my parents though not the reasons for it.

A month back it was another tragic occurance...and a much bigger one when my spouse's younger sister (my sister-in-law) passed away in a road accident at Allahabad. It was the first time this has happened in the immediate family. Its the most difficult times and god give enough strength and courage to come over the grief and loss of her departure. I have felt at loss of words and inadequate to even offer condolence for the sheer magnitude of this loss for immediate family members. She is survived by her two sons, elder aged 2 year and younger one is aged 6 months and her husband. Looking at the condition of their car after the accident it appears a miracle that three family members survived. May her soul by blessed by God and be at peace.

I have been asked to shift to South Korea for 2 years for company work. It has been a long drawn wait for the related documents and visa. Hope to get it by next 2-3 weeks for myself & family. It appears to me that now I am living a borrowed life. Life has been at a standstill for last 2 months. It has been 5 months since it all started and there seems to be no light yet at end of the tunnel on when finally I will be able to shift with family to South Korea. The wait has been quite frustrating and end of it...I can't but end of the day blame myself.

At work due to a change in work profile, I am having to learn and understand lot of new information and skills. Not excited enough due to the whole visa-being-stuck issue.

Carrying a lot of tension due to this daily back to home.

My car is fully screwed up, the wheels wobble when I drive about 80 kmph and I have to come down. Just not getting time to get it set right (wheel alignment & balancing). The New Battery has gone dead twice in as many months. I am fed up of my car but no option than to wait for trip to South Korea.

Let's see what God has in store for me in future. Today I opened my computer at home and logged on to internet after ages.

No time to think for myself. I am feeling like the Shrek of Shrek-3. Not even keen to watch the garbas anymore.

Life goes on....

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